Anxiety doesn't discriminate.
It can affect anyone, at any time, during a wide range of circumstances.
Let me explain with an example from my own life…
I poured my energy into healing the relationship anxiety I was experiencing this year—and thankfully I am feeling so much better within my relationship.
Things are going well, I am not looking for what is wrong—and appreciating instead what is right.
But, once the anxiety was soothed in my relationship, it looked for somewhere else to hang its hat.
And anxiety succeeded.
Enter: an exciting (but also somewhat intimidating...) life update:
Nate and I are moving to Sweden!
(for his job)
(in three weeks)
We found out at the end of August, and at that time—I was still on furlough from my full-time job, so going to a new country and getting the chance to explore the world seemed like a no-brainer.
It still seems like a no-brainer, and I am thrilled to be going.
However, my excitement didn't come without a few anxiety spikes... 😉
Once I was no longer hyper-focused on my relationship, I became hyper-focused on our big move across the pond.
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"so…how long will this Visa process take?"
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"when exactly will I be able to tell my company I may be leaving my 9-5?!"
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"can I still blog + coach people over there? how does business setup in a new country work?"
All of these questions are completely reasonable.
But what ISN'T reasonable was me (unintentionally) taking the uncertainty I was feeling and dumping it on Nate in various ways that had nothing to do with him.
Exhibit A-C...
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being on-edge and snippy towards Nate without sharing the reasons why
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feeling resentment that he was able to openly express his news to his company (of course), while I had to keep mine secret and bottled in (can you tell I am someone who loves to share?!)
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being hyper-critical of Nate's role in the move, placing expectations on him without sharing the expectations with him
These are the actions I found myself taking for a couple of months after we received our exciting news about moving to Sweden.
It wasn't until Nate and I had discussions around my behaviors that I was able to get to the root of these questions I was asking related to our move...
I was feeling anxiety around such a huge transition, and around the unknowns of it all.
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leaving home/loved ones and living in a new place where we don't know anyone
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taking a risk by leaving my awesome + well-paying 9-5 job to start my own thing
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oh, and covid-19 anxiety is still here, that too...
My aha moment was realizing that the relationship anxiety I was feeling was not all too different from this anxiety I felt around moving to Sweden.
Like I said in the beginning of this article, anxiety doesn't discriminate.
It can rear its head anytime there is a big life transition underway, when there are unknowns, when there is risk.
Be it loving someone, or moving to a new country—anxiety is natural.
But now I know how to work through it, and I know that I will come out on the other side stronger, braver, and with more knowledge.
So—there you have it!
We are moving to Sweden.
And I am choosing to embrace the uncertainty and enjoy the ride.
xx
Sarah
