read time: 4 min
Yesterday I read this article, and it blew my mind.
The way it's written is extraordinary and perfectly captures a classic dilemma of being human: feeling like we don't know the best path to take in life.
In this case, the article refers to deciding to have kids or not.
Swap out deciding to have kids with…literally anything…and the advice in this article still stands.
Getting engaged.
Getting married.
Moving to a new city.
Leaving a relationship.
Changing jobs.
Starting therapy.
Joining a coaching program.
Getting a pet.
Deciding which vacation to take.
All of these things can leave us in analysis paralysis. We don't know which path is “right.” We worry we're making the “wrong choice.” We want to dip our toe into everything first before we go all-in on something.
We're scared to do anything, so we do nothing instead.
There was one part of the article that felt so true to me in particular:
“my desire to do this thing that everyone said was so profound was just barely stronger than my doubts about it were.”
WOW… “just barely stronger than my doubts”
Not 100% sure. Not crystal clear of the right path. Just barely stronger than the doubts.
Sometimes that's how it goes…deciding to do the thing even though there are doubts*.
*assumes you're not in danger
I think that is such a powerful reframe, because so often we're told “if you're not sure…maybe it's not right for you," or “if it's not a full body yes, it's a no.”
This type of all-or-nothing thinking can be really hard for the anxious mind, and I want to offer you permission to throw away the notion that you have to have it all figured out.
I will leave you with these questions to reflect on:
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What if you could allow yourself to still move forward even if you're not “sure”?
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What if you still moved forward even though you had doubts and trusted that you'd figure things out along the way?
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Would this give you permission to stop feeling so badly that you don't have all the answers?
I'm rooting for you…
