In the span of the last 5 days, I went from feeling burnt out, to feeling rested and joyful after a day off, to feeling a cold come on, to then feeling full-on sick and sniffly, to then being on the mend and feeling back to normal.
In hindsight, it was no coincidence that me feeling burnt out eventually led to me getting a cold.
Thankfully, I experienced absolutely no covid symptoms—this truly was just me being congested—but as I reflect today while feeling back in my groove, it made me realize that the common cold and relationship anxiety have something very important in common:
They are not permanent.
Sometimes, in the middle of an anxiety spike, it can feel like the problem at hand will never go away.
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If we're stressed at work, it can feel like the job will always be this stressful
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If we're in the middle of a...pandemic...let's say, it can feel like life will always be this different
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If we're questioning if our relationship is the right fit, it can feel like we'll never have any sense of clarity
But just like the common cold, which felt pretty crappy this weekend, but now has passed through my system…
…anxiety is not permanent.
Even though I could barely breathe out of my nose on Sunday, today I am breathing clearly.
Even though I used up three rolls of toilet paper over the weekend (SOS—need a tissue box), today I am sniffle-free.
Even though I felt lower-energy yesterday, today I am back to business as usual.
It's important to remember that feelings and emotions come and go, just like the common cold.
When we hook into our anxious thoughts and let them run amuck in our minds, they will always try to convince us that whatever we are afraid of will last forever.
I've learned from having relationship anxiety that our anxious mind would rather keep us out of a loving, healthy relationship—safe from any sort of hurt or vulnerability—than risk the pain of loss.
The anxious mind will really try to trick you—it will have you thinking things like...
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"I don't love them enough"
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"Maybe I'd be happier with someone else"
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"I should be certain"
...all so it feels like it has a sense of control.
But your anxious mind is not in control.
You are.
And the next time your anxious mind is trying to convince you that the emotions or feelings will last, that they are permanent—just remind it that "this too shall pass," just like it always has.
