So far in 2021, I have been taking my rest very seriously.
In order to show up as my best self, and as a result show up best in my relationship, it is critical.
But this decision to prioritize my rest didn't come from a proactive place...
In fact, quite the opposite.
A few times towards the end of 2020, I found myself burnt out and exhausted.
While I can blame it on the pandemic, I knew there were other reasons contributing to my stress; self-imposed deadlines and having too much on my plate, plain and simple.
To be fair, during these periods of stress, I did have a lot going on.
I was still working my 9-5 job, while very much prioritizing running this blog + my Instagram account, while working with a business coach to get my coaching business up and running, while enrolling in a social media course to learn and grow in that area, while also preparing for a move to a new country—the list goes on.
Back then, I felt like taking rest was a waste of time—I had too much to do.
My rest was lacking and it showed.
There were a few moments when I would vent to my roomie (which was, at the time, my Mom—hi Mom!) that I felt overwhelmed and like my to-do list would not stop growing.
I knew that some of this was situational (working my 9-5 while also running the blog/coaching business, and preparing for the move), but some of this was absolutely a result of me over-scheduling myself.
And THAT I can control.
So, in those moments of overwhelm, I made a promise to myself.
I promised that when we moved from Virginia to Sweden that I would use the time difference to my advantage and give myself slower starts to my day.
In Sweden, we're 6 hours ahead of the east coast—and most of the people I talk to on a regular basis (family, friends, clients) are in that timezone.
So the first few hours of my day are kept wide open...and it is glorious.
I allow myself to wake up when I wake up (usually we're up by 7:30 or 8am naturally), make a matcha latte, and then really practice some self care.
For me, my morning self care takes the form of meditating, reading, journaling, planning my list for the week or day, and sometimes stretching.
Nate and I have also been making our mid-day workouts a priority, as well.
Not only have I noticed my mental health improving, but I also still get a great amount of work done, too.
Both things can be true: you can have time to take care of yourself, and you can have time to get everything done you need to get done.
It does not have to be one or the other.
However, if anyone reading this is finding themselves in the same burnout boat I was in at the end of 2020, in desperate need of some rest—keep reading.
I read two amazing articles (linked here and here) that talked about seven, yes SEVEN, types of rest that humans need.
These articles were based on knowledge shared by a physician named Saundra Dalton-Smith, M.D.; the author of Sacred Rest: Recover Your Life, Renew Your Energy, Renew Your Sanity.
Dalton-Smith shares that humans do not simply need "rest,' they need physical, mental, social, creative, emotional, spiritual, and sensory rest.
I was intrigued, especially as someone who knows how it feels to be rest-deprived.
I'd recommend reading the articles, and heck maybe even reading the book, if you're feeling like your rest needs a facelift, however I am going to summarize how you can begin adding more of the seven types of rest here:
Physical Rest
Can come in the form of passive or active rest. This is when your body is run down, and needs a break.
Getting the right amount of sleep is crucial (7-9 hours minimum per night is recommended—if you need tips on sleeping check out some of Matthew Walker's content, he is a sleep genius!). This is an example of passive rest. Another example would be skipping a workout when you feel really tired and run down.
You can also choose to have active rest in the form such as yoga/stretching, or a massage.
When your body is getting the physical rest it needs, you will feel less tired, and have more energy.
Note: sometimes for me, I can get one good night's sleep and feel so much better, whereas other times I need a few days of physical rest and good night’s sleep to feel back to normal—listen to what your body needs.
Mental Rest
When you can't focus, keep re-writing and erasing the same draft of an email 5 times, or are feeling like you are in a daze/brain-fog, it may be time to take mental rest.
Mental rest is one of my favorite categories to focus on, and something I prioritize first thing in the morning to set myself up for the day ahead. However, taking mental breaks throughout the day is also important.
Mental rest can come in the form of a screen break, breath work or meditation, or taking time to get grounded and refocus. Sometimes a walk outside in the sun with some fresh air and no phone is all the mental rest I need, and sometimes it's more in-depth such as logging off work early for the day when I know that my focus is no longer serving the work I am trying to get done.
Note: being one year into the pandemic, I'd stress the importance of this category even more. Some days, even when it feels like "nothing is wrong," there can still be collective anxiety or grief looming over us after a year of things being flipped upside-down. Do not feel guilty if you need to transform your mental rest routine accordingly.
Sensory Rest
Due to the amount of stimuli we have around us all day long (especially in the work-from home environment of screen time all day), it's important to prioritize sensory rest.
This can be anything from lights being on all day, without a break to see real sunlight, or staring into your laptop/phone screen all day, to background noise of partners or family members at home without alone time.
Dalton-Smith recommends taking sensory rest in the form of spending time away from electronics, turning the lights off if possible, and shutting your eyes for a few minutes to recharge.
As a bonus, taking one day a week away from technology is a great way to get sensory rest. I will add a personal note that sometimes deleting social media apps gives me a great sensory rest, or putting my phone on airplane mode/do-not-disturb so I am not checking in for notifications constantly throughout the day.
Note: getting outside for a mid-day walk is another great way to partake in sensory rest.
Social Rest
Even though our social lives have changed over the last year, there can still be exhaustion from consistent zoom calls/calls to catch up with people we have not seen. Or, on the flip side, if we are spending too much time by ourselves and have not seen anyone, we can be lonely and need quality time with close friends or family to fill our cup back up.
I'd say social rest has a direct correlation to whether someone identifies as an introvert or extrovert. For me personally, as an extrovert, sometimes social rest is choosing to find the balance between catching up with TOO many people, and finding "me time," whereas Nate who is more introverted may want to find the balance between too much alone time and finding ways to connect with friends and family back at home more often. I do think this is very dependent on the individual and their desire for spending time with/without people.
Social rest requires getting honest with yourself about how much social time feels aligned for you and knowing when to say "no" to plans (virtually, or in-person) that do not make you excited.
Less time with people who drain your energy, more time with people who fill you up.
Creative Rest
This one hits home for me, as someone who is consistently coming up with ideas for a blog post, Instagram post, or content to share with my clients.
Creative rest is needed when you find yourself flexing your creative muscles too much and need time to recharge and reset.
Even for those who don't identify as being a creative, or working in a creative role, you're likely problem-solving more than you realize in your day-to-day life.
Upping your creative rest could look like: spending time in nature, reading a book that causes you to get lost, or doing something that does not require you to have your 'thinking cap' on.
Note: if you find yourself uninspired and needing ideas after taking a creative rest, try watching or listening to inspiring podcast interviews, reading a non-fiction book on a topic you are interested in, or surrounding yourself with inspiration in other ways. I always find myself being inspired by other people's passions/knowledge and thinking of ways to incorporate them into my blog content. Works every time!
Emotional Rest
Emotional rest is another crucial one to be looking out for as we pass a year of the pandemic, and are coming off a week with more upsetting news, specifically related to racism and hate against the Asian-American community.
Some days, by simply waking up and seeing global news, we can feel emotionally drained.
It's important to acknowledge when you're feeling emotionally tapped and equally be mindful of how much is on your plate at any given time, so you don’t risk being overwhelmed by your own to-do list.
When you say "yes" to too much, take in too much news, or have emotional conversations with too many people, it can cause emotional overwhelm. Or even by simply doing your job (as a parent, therapist, activist, teacher, or [insert your job here]) you may feel emotionally drained.
Getting emotional rest could mean having regular sessions with a therapist or coach, taking things off your to-do list, or finding a close friend or family member to share your feelings with.
Note: I’d recommend speaking to a therapist or coach over a family member, partner or friend if you plan to emotionally offload consistently. It can be a lot of weight to carry your own emotions as well as someone else's.
Spiritual Rest
The last form of rest needed is spiritual rest. Even if you do not identify as spiritual, this is an important pillar of rest.
Having something bigger than yourself that is meaningful can be a huge part of happiness and wellbeing.
Whether this is a meditation practice to connect you to something bigger than yourself, inner peace, or calm—or a passion project, religion, volunteering with an organization—all can help you find more meaning in your life, and a greater sense of purpose.
Enjoying the process of life instead of the end goals/achievements is important, so finding something that can bring meaning and joy to your days/weeks is huge.
Whew. That was a lot of information on rest.
If you made it this far—you should celebrate yourself for being one step closer to taking your rest seriously. You are amazing!
While you may technically need all seven elements of rest from this list at points in your life, I don't want you to feel overwhelmed by engaging in all seven of them perfectly them, all at once.
I know that when I read lists like this, I tend to focus on which ones are missing and then feel guilty or discouraged.
That is never my intention when sharing information.
I'd recommend seeing which pillar (or two) of rest from this list you think you're MOST in need of and start there.
Then slowly incorporate the others when you can.
If you choose to start paying attention moment to moment, day to day, and week by week to which type of rest you need to prioritize more of, I'd say you will be in pretty good shape.
Personally, I am going to be focusing most on sensory and emotional rest over the next few weeks.
Less screen time, more reading.
Less mindlessly soaking in the news/social media, more time looking for ways to let my emotions out (I think finding a therapist here is in the cards soon—been overdue to be back in therapy and have someone other than Nate to share with!)
I hope that you'll pick a top 1-2 types of rest and focus on them with me over the coming weeks.
Leave a comment below which one needs the most attention in your world, I'd love to cheer you on.
xx
Sarah
