Today, I want to offer up a reminder that the way individual and unique people view the world is just that, individual and unique to them.
Two different people may look at the exact same thing, but see it in a completely different way.
You and your partner, you and a friend, or you and a colleague may experience something at the same time, but have different takeaways.
Let's take the below photo as an example. At first glance...what do you see?
When I first saw this optical illusion in a psychology class in college, I saw a young woman with her head turned right away.
But then our teacher had the class raise their hands for TWO different answers: a young woman, AND an older woman.
I remember being shocked! I had not even seen an older woman at first glance.
The class was split up. I don't believe it was a 50/50 split, but I remember vividly that there were many people who saw both the young and older woman in this illusion.
Recently, I found out that this image first appeared on an 1888 German postcard, and was later adapted by British cartoonist William Ely Hill. He published it in a humor magazine in 1915 with title "My Wife and My Mother-in-Law."
What's cool to me is that almost 150 years later, this illusion still serves an incredible purpose.
It's a really important reminder that when two people look at the exact same thing/event, and see two completely different things, both of them can be ‘right’.
Because, the fact of the matter is, both the young woman and old woman are there!
Still not seeing it? Let’s take a closer look:
There is not always a clear line in the sand for what is “right” or “wrong.”
While I have my beliefs about what is right or wrong, and especially in today’s political climate it can feel hard to find common ground with others who have different beliefs than we do, it’s important to take a step back and realize that often times people are simply looking at things through a different lens than we are.
We’ve all been conditioned completely differently. No two humans have the exact same thoughts and that is what makes humanity so special.
We may not always agree with those around us, and that’s okay. But we must acknowledge one simple truth:
Both people’s realities can be valid.
No one needs to be "wrong" for seeing the opposite view.
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What if we could approach discussions with our partners (friend, family member, or colleague) in the same way?
Instead of trying to prove we are right, what if we could instead validate their perspective? Or find a way to be curious, and dig deeper into why someone feels the way they feel?
We don't always have to agree with everything they're saying, but perhaps we can simply acknowledge their reality as being true to them, instead of only validating ours as being true.
If everyone in the world could learn to validate one another’s realities, and from that place perhaps try to move towards more common ground—we may have a whole different world.
I’m not perfect at this by any means. I still have some work to do and often find myself still needing to prove that I am right, and someone else is wrong.
But I've kept the image “My Wife and Mother-in-Law” in my "favorited" pictures on my phone for years now, to remind me that:
I don't always have to agree with everyone around me, but I sure as hell need to do my best to acknowledge their reality.
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